Give

 

 

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The night sky is already dense, and it is only 6.30pm. She is the last one out from the clinic. She releases a sigh of relief. It has been a tough day. Therapies, one after the other. It is a challenging job especially with the new patient she had today. She shudders at the thought in effort to try and shake it away. Despite the struggle, she never complaint because she is a giver at heart. Always. A person she has grown to become as she knows how it feels like to be in their shoes.

She walks down the road and fumbles for her phone in her jacket to check for any messages. The light from the screen gleams white on her face. None. She is just about to keep her phone back when something pops out on her screen and the sight of it stops her in her tracks. A reminder.

“Don’t forget to give to yourself,” it says. It is a random reminder from Due application which she made for herself a long time ago. It usually goes off in a few months or so. The app has been crashing lately but somehow tonight, it works fine. It’s as if someone knew what she had in mind. As if someone knew what she needed and as if someone took her phone and somehow fixed the application. But of course, it isn’t anyone. She knows that it is a reminder from Allah. She smiles at the thought and continues to walk. It was a reminder she made for herself after reading a book titled The Power of Giving. It says that in order to give to others, you must first give to yourself. And after the crazy demands of the day or well, the past few weeks, that is just what she needed. A moment of solitude.

The wind blows gently its icy winter breath. It is freezing but she needed to do what she needs to do. She walks pass the flats, through the tunnel and down the hill. A giver, she is. Though there comes a point when she could give no more and when she too, is in need of someone to give to her, someone to fill her. But she knows all too well to never hope for anyone to do it for her. Her past has made her the strong woman she is now. She was knocked, bruised and battered within. She buries her pain deep down and always manage to shake it away by continuously giving to others. Her family, her friends and of course, her patients. Yes, somehow giving even when she knows she needs it too keeps her alive. She turns around the corner and her lips curves to a smile at the sight of her favourite park.

She walks to the centre of the park and put her bag on the ground. This is just what she needs. She lies on the grass and look up at the night sky. It brings out the child in her as she lets mind wander in imagination, painting pictures on the constellations in the sky. It makes her long for Home. And if anyone ever wonders, what is it that keeps her going, then it is this. A longing for the meeting with.. well, the One who never fails to give to her. The One who never disappoints her. So she pushes forward and continue to give for as long as she has Allah, she needs nothing else.

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