Healing

 

That’s it. I have made a decision. Standing right at the entrance, I decided to sneak through and head to that beautiful place. Protected by guards at night but I knew I just had to do it. I walk and look around to see if someone will stop me. A guard passes by but it is as if I am wearing an invisible cloak cause he barely noticed a thing and walk right past me.

As I am approaching, I could hear the sound of waves gently rolled to the shore. I take off my shoes and feel the sand under my feet. Carefully I pick a spot and lie down to appreciate the view tonight. There were hundreds (by my estimation, or maybe thousands) of stars that I could see with my naked eye. And just as I am about to feel relief, a sharp pain stabs me at my chest as I am reminded of a star that cause me to make this escape.

A star that caused me pain.

I stare at the stars as I try to ease my pain. A single tear slid down my cheek. I bit my lip in effort to hold the rest of it but the pain is too much that I find tears are now streaming down my cheek. I can’t stop. My wound is still raw, fresh. A deep cut. And I wonder how I can ever heal.

I let the tears fall, thankful that the waves are loud that it drowns my cries. I look up above and focused on a star. I look beyond that star and reflected on the One who created it. And I believe.. that He can mend this wound.

“O Allah! To you alone I complain my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by people. O Most Merciful of those who have mercy! You are the Lord of the weak, and You are My Lord too.

To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?

But as long as You are not angry with me, I do no care, except that Your favor is a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descend upon me.

Yours is the right to reproach until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.” – du’aa of Rasulullah SAW, in Taif

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